The hostile or skeptic is the type of interviewer most people fear. But you really don't need to, once you understand the game. Most curmudgeons just want to have a good show or presentation filled with animated discussion. Whatever the case, it is not really important. What is important is to remember the reason you are there. Is it your mission to enlighten your audience about a cause you feel passionate about? Are you looking to make your product the best of its kind? Do you want your team to continue to be asked to work on the core issues of your company? Bring yourself back to your mission over and over again. Here's how to stay cool when the questions get hot.
1. The Agree.
Before you counter with your reply, disabuse the hostile person of his notion by first acknowledging that many others agree with him. He'll feel like he has support for his ideas and you are just one small voice in a crowd of cheering fans. Example, *Many people think as you do and that is why I did so much research and have found otherwise.* Explain what you have found in anecdotal evidence, facts or statistics.
2. The Compliment.
Compliment the hostile person. Sometimes he just wants to be recognized. *Really! That is fascinating.* Then tell why you disagree.
3. The Impersonal.
Take the discussion out of the personal to the objective by stating facts. He won't feel like you are attacking him for a second or two. *Statistics prove otherwise.*
4. The Re-frame.
When asked an embarrassing or inappropriate question re- frame the question by beginning with, *What I felt was....* Then focus attention on a broader social issue or expand it to encompass what many people might feel.
In her very first TV show ever, one of my clients told the story of being raped by a prominent sports entertainment lawyer. The insensitive host of the program asked her bluntly: *Did you feel dirty, unlovable, ashamed?* Instead of answering, *Yes,* she might have responded, *Many women whether they've been raped or not, have been made to feel that way about their bodies or sexuality at some point in their lives. That is why I have chosen to speak out on this sensitive issue now. To give a voice to all of us, even those who have no voice.* Which was her whole reason for doing publicity in the first place.
5. The Humorous.
Use humor. A light touch can be transcendent. Change the level of energy dramatically by refusing to engage in hostility in the first place. Humor is one of the best ways to create an opening and change the tenor or direction of the discussion.
Just the other day speaker and author Debbie Gisonni and I were doing a media coaching session on the phone. She had asked me to come up with some "zinger" questions so I threw in the one that Howard Stern had asked one of my clients. *What is your bra size?* She laughed and said, *My bra size is hardly newsworthy.*
And then she quickly transitioned into saying, *When my Aunt Yolanda got breast cancer she had a lot of trouble finding the right kind of mammary glands to replace the ones that had been removed. The ones she got filled with silicon were never quite right. One tipped up, the other hung down. But after surviving her surgery, breasts became so inconsequential to what was truly important in her life.*
Humor is particularly good when asked a question that is too personal. You can change the nature of the question gracefully by saying, *What I'd really like to say is....* Or, *The question I'd really like to answer is....* Or, *In my book I say....* Or, *I'd like to keep that part of my life private, and I would like to share this....* Then offer something else delicious and intimate.
The Key:
Return to the question, *What does my audience need to know?* To keep on track in any situation including a tussle, an inappropriate question, or a surprise question, ask yourself, *What is the real question here?* What does my audience need to know to understand my offering?
Take out the tone, the churlish personality, or whatever isn't sitting right, from the person asking the question and address the underlying issue. Lifting yourself away from any kind of personal entanglement will give you the clarity of mind to answer any question with detachment. Even when caught off guard, take a deep breath, reflect, and then say something that people will remember.
Copyright (c) 2006 by Susan Harrow. All rights reserved. |
