When children are young they seem (sometimes) to require more external validation than adults. Likely because they also require more criticism, they can easily develop a poor self image when the criticism outweighs the encouragement. It is our responsibility as teachers to encourage children as much as possible as a method of building confidence in children. With children in the age group between eighteen months and three or four years old, children are scolded for a gazillion different thingsthey are just barely learning what is ok and what is not ok. Kids need to be told what to do and what not to do, especially in this age group. Therefore we say no, no, no!!! when the child puts dirt or a small toy in his or her mouth. Try to couple a scolding with an encouragement when building confidence in children. So if the child is making a deliberate mess in his or her high chair, you can tell him or her not to do that. And, likewise by the same token, by the end of the meal if the child has responded to your instructionsgive him or her a great big smile and say something like good job listening! and good job eating! This way the child does not leave the table feeling bad. But having learned a new way to make mommy, daddy or his or her guardian proud. We know that they will not always get it right the first time, but a little encouragement will help. So, let us say that the child continues making messes. It is good to scold the child, and perhaps the child will not listen and continue to make messes. After you have scolded his or her once, show your disappointment and that you still do not approve. However, avoid calling the child names by saying things such as Youre a bad boy, you should listen. Instead try something like You didnt listen to mommy (or daddy, or guardian) tat makes mommy sad. Hey lets try cleaning up togetheryou can be my good helper cleaning up. Andas Mary Poppins as it may soundsing a little song as you tidy up. I have found that this motivates children to work. Say things like you are such a good helper. Or, if in a classroom setting, say ok where are all my helpers? Lets clean up all the toys! We all know that kids love attention, and they would much prefer positive attention than negative attention. Believe it or not, however, if a child receives too much negative attention or not enough attention, he or she could end up being the sort of child who cries, fights, pouts, screams or just generally gets him or herself into trouble. This is because even negative attention is better to him or her than no attention at all. |
