You don't feel any different, except for little things here and there that are more annoying than frightening. Your life has been good, just like everyone else's: some ups, some downs, some exhilarations, some crisis. Nothing truly extraordinary. You work, you pay taxes, you have a family, you are satisfied, you have friends, pets, co-workers, children, partners, a car or a house, or both, you have credit cards, you eat all right, you groom yourself, you make love, and so on and so forth. You think your life is ok; you know you are ok. Then just like that, something in you appears to be a little funny. So you make an appointment with your physician. Next thing you know, you are swarmed with physicians, exams, tests, and finally the diagnosis. It is cancer. You panic. You feel disbelief. Me? No way. I am so healthy! Everyone panics. You? Impossible. You are so healthy! You always felt so good! You don't feel any different. But now things have changed permanently in your life. First comes the pressure. Urgency is required. You are not allowed any time to think things over and decide what you want to do and how you are going to do it. Conventional wisdom tells you to do three things: surgery, radiation, chemotherapy. People expect you to do them, the medical establishment demands you do them. You think you have no choice. You don't know better. You are now very afraid you are going to die. Though the hurry may seem justified, there are 3 things you need to do before taking action: 1. Accept responsibility for your own life; your own doings, your own healing. You and only you can decide what course of action to take and when. After all, it is your life and no one knows it better than yourself. Be grateful for the support you receive from others but do what you think is best for you. 2. Take time for yourself. When they know you have been hurt (or, yikes, diagnosed), people will want to speak with you; they will want to help you, they will want to see you. Accept their help but take time to concentrate. Give yourself time. Go on a retreat, if you can, or spend quiet time in prayer and meditation. Be silent. Be still. Ask Spirit for the best course of action. Pray for inspiration and wait. It will come to you. 3. Go deep into your wound Whatever it may be: cry, grieve your losses, go to your underworld if you must (just like Orpheus). You will come back from it a much stronger person. Do what you need to do without pretenses. You must be true to your hurt, to your feelings. Your acceptance that you are hurt is your biggest step for your true healing. Just don't dwell in the question "Why" because you will have no answer that will satisfy you. On the contrary, it will do you no good. Forget that one and you will feel better. Taking these first steps will do an incredible amount of good. Then, you will have your decision. Follow it with an open heart. Know that everything that happens to you happens for your highest good. |
