Senior dating presents different challenges. In some respects it is harder and in some respects it is easier. As you age your perspective changes. What was incredibly important in your twenties, has a lesser importance in your forties, and may not matter at all in your fifties. You will have a history and emotional baggage, but so has everyone else. People over 45 have more complications in their lives than younger people. Your histories will all be different, but the common factor that you will have is that you do not want to be alone for the rest of your lives. You may have had a series of long fulfilling relationships, and know that you want another. As you age you have become more realistic about what you want from life. Some of you who have had a series of unsuccessful relationships will find it harder to connect with others'. Possibly age or caution has meant that you find it harder to share your true feelings and empathise with others. However there are still compensating factors. Other areas of your life may be more balanced, you probably have a successful career, and independence. Identifying what is holding you back from having a successful relationship may be the first step to solving the problem. The barriers are as diverse as the number of people that have them. You may not even be able to identify what your personal barrier is. It is possible to change your perspective, but you have to become motivated to do so successfully. It may be necessary to get help from a professional, either a trusted member of your church, or a therapist, or by using the services of a good long time friend. If you have had a long term relationship, then the chances are that you are out of practise in the dating game, but it is a game, and however nerve wracking it seems, it can be fun. Expectations are different today, and it is more acceptable to want to live with some one else and be happy as a senior. Forget about whether the etiquette has changed regarding the dating game, the chances are that if you are dating someone else of a similar age they are going to have the same fears. The whole point of a first date is to get to know someone, with a view to deciding whether you want to see them again. Try and arrange the activities of a first date in a setting where conversation is possible. Try being a tourist within your home town, by doing something that you have never done before, and preferably something that neither of you has done before. Arrange a fun activity either around a shared interest, or a completely new one. Then have lunch - you will have more things to discuss at that point and it will all come together. |
